WOMAN 3

Journey with me as I take you through the mind and heart of a young woman. Journey to her third life with a third party. For in all her existence, this number has played a comical role in her voyage through life. Stigmatized in the triangles that swayed her emotions, played her heart as strings of a harp…melodious, calm, gentle and yet pronounces a story, a song that so powerfully evokes tears and understanding from the audience she writes her tune to. The ears that sees her life as she portrays it. For in her words are songs of passion, portraits of colors as the artist relays her message on canvas……hard canvas, rough canvas, strong canvas. She is now a painter of words in different Hues and different shades. How ironic these colors are in her life. For the hue is personified as the one who gradually makes her heart whole again, no longer belonging carelessly to another, no longer halved between the love for herself and the loved of another….the love for the shade that darkened her heart. The hue now sheds light upon her shaded demise. She gradually separates herself from the women of yesterday, from a woman, a seductress, a Christian, a daughter, a lover and me, all one. She is no longer the woman who tells the story of how the carnal and innate nature took hold of a man who wore a naked ring upon his finger, a ring of promises, and a woman who wore a half halo above her head. For this halo is now whole as she dreamed it to be. She offers Mr. Columbus just a portion of her existence as a gratitude for discovering the wavering foundation her heart was embedded and for returning it whole again. His name, Columbus, the discoverer of an already discovered territory. His name will be written in the archives of all that is good and pure in her life. For a Friend he forever will be.

This is not a story of the great painter, But of the painter and her world. The triangle of bliss and of detriment. Allow me to paint on your heart of canvas as my brush strokes the minds of curious bystanders, the picture portrayed through hues, shades and colors. First shade is his name, the black man she adorned herself with, the one she bled tears and love to be with. The one who wore the transparent ring upon his finger and through time made evident his loyalty to it while still being disloyal to her heart. Had I not painted that my character and her lover were alike in worlds……INSEPARABLE, for her world was now his and his shared between her world and the best man’s? And even now her existence shares the disposition Mr. Shade finds himself in. Through experiences only, can the human mind fathom the unfathomable choices we sometimes make. She paints her life in an effort to only resonate with her own understanding of herself. A WOMAN she is, "torn between her passions and moral ideals, who enjoys loving the difficulty that presents itself" in the characters I have here manifested. My character now sympathizes and understands Mr. Shade’s triangle, one that he is bound to and one his soul lusts after. But this is not a painting of the shades, for time has gradually elapsed the bond and attachments she once had with this soul….she still loves, but only for satisfaction in the stallion and his conquest. Her heart now palpitate another song. Her heart is still partly his and part of his heart for another man alike is now partly her heartbeat……Their hearts are still whole…… Half her heart belongs to him and half of his heart for his confidant is now her heartbeat…two halves make a whole. I wish to keep this painting as abstract as it can be, for in the deepest strokes of this brush and the weaving of my canvas lies a hidden truth that can be detrimental to pure love and pure friendships….ruined for the sake of love. Funny how LOVE, in the true meaning of the word can be so fascinating and builds a lifetime of happiness, whilst alternately destroys another’s opportunity of experiencing this love….crumbling his world to a mere birth and death cycle. LOVE can raise a thousand army of passion, purpose in breath, and at the same time put to grave a pair of soul connection in familial and friendly love. Not gay in preference but a love that is gay in trust, trust for one man alike in nature for the consideration of the other and longevity beyond love for one woman and beyond hardship. Just as the lover, the poet and now the painter that I have presented u had shared this guilt of hurting another woman, only indirectly.

Oh how her heart aches and bleeds red when she dips into the vase of truth to paint only what her hands and her heart allows. It bleeds red though her hand wishes to part the tides of principles from the overflow of selfishness. Principles outlined by society that one should not love more than once, and selfishness in that just as Mr. shade wishes to keep his world a darkened secret to forever share with his lover, now does the lover…me…..I….share this fantasy…but no longer for him. And Mr. Shade justifies by his most colorful yet deceitful poetic truth……“Funny how the world turns”…for some reason I really like that phrase. There should be unbreakable rules to this love game…laws that are inviolate – like the law that governs gravity for example. What goes up must come down...it can’t just float about”. The painter……The lover……The poet and I…… all stand on the firm truth that Mr. shade, the beautiful cheat has so beautifully expressed that if life hadn’t dished out in such abundance the irrevocable experiences and words uttered, that maybe we wouldn’t have gone through if this were the case, if the actual rule that existed said: “one cannot love more than once”…but now she shares this guilty bliss. It is possible to love more than once and possibly at the same time, for to her, love has gone knocking on his neighbor’s door……The one closest to his heart. And if he rejects the offer she once again presents to him, of having her entire being become his territory to forever abide…then shall she search another occupant…..one much more willing and deserving to abide in her abode.

I now paint my last word……the words that should remain unprinted and so I will paint it in all colors of the spectrum…for in these colors are emotions that lies skin deep and beyond all that meets the eyes. Her heart still refuses to let him go while she still satisfies her body….still being loyal to him……she simultaneously offers her thoughts and a portion of her existence to the Mr. Hue, the lighter one in the wheel of colors. And as much as the difference lies in their color…their souls differ in the magnitude of appreciation they offer her. For only by names do they differ. Columbus has found her heart and could possibly take sanctuary there, but Mr. Shade’s name is still printed on it.

“To me you’re a songbird, precious, with a song inside you that not even you can fully express…just continue to shine as you do, and give the love that’s waiting for you the chance to fulfill itself”…If only this love had been of a different time……For she still loves him, though she tries not to.